Music, love and hearbreak

“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” (Carrie Bradshaw)

Maybe not the “live without each other part,” that’s way too dependent but I do want ridiculous, inconvenient, silly, crazy and some times even challenging love.

Yes folks, I do believe in love!

I’m getting tired of people asking if I believe in love or feeling sorry after I tell them I’m single. A common response, “awe but why?” or “I bet you have guys lined up” or “do you think your work has anything to do with it?”

Please don’t respond with a sad face/sound when your friends respond they are single. Believe me when I tell you, they are probably very happy. And no, I do not have men lined up or maybe they have super special invisible powers or maybe I’m just not that interested in them. And yes, my work has affected me in a positive way. I can tell the difference between a good and bad relationship plus I’ve learned how to tell when men are bullshitting!

Yes, I am single- so what? I’ve never been so peaceful and drama free in my life. Maybe I just refuse to give that up!

This morning I listened to a song that spoke directly to me, well maybe not directly but it sure felt like it. Music is something I cannot be without. I must be listening to music in the car, in the office, while I’m running, while I’m writing, while dressing, showering and other moments I rather keep to myself. The song is by Kany Garcia “Para Volver Amar” (to love again). Here’s my translation of my favorite lines. I’ve added a link to the video for those who want to listen to it.

Look at me

Believing I’m so strong, so full of life

Drawing smiles for looks

Carrying so much and a thousand stories trapped inside

No, I cannot give what was stolen from me…


To love again I must feel I’m alive

And stop running away

To be able to give what was once mine

And today I cannot find

Today I’m only searching for pieces of what once was an open heart

I know that I’ve tried to salvage the pieces of this heart that loved without measure

And now lives with fear and hides

I know you don’t believe me

As I come across so confident and strong

But no, I cannot give what was stolen from me

… I cannot love, not just yet… I cannot.

In my opinion, the song seems to be about woman who to the world is strong and full of life but deep inside hides so many stories and heartbreak. Its about the journey of a woman who is trying to put it back together the pieces as she tries to open up once again to the possibility of love.

Yes, like a friend would say “a very sappy song” but so true to those who have been heart broken and are now trying to put the broken pieces back together. Music is magical! I can relate to most of what the song is saying and love it when that happens.

I’m partly that woman the song describes. I’m also the woman who believes love does exist and can truly be wonderful. I’ve been lucky to experience it, been challenged and overwhelmed by it. Heartbreak has only made me stronger, smarter and much more aware. I’ve been hesitant at times but never too afraid to try one more time.

Relationships can be a bitch but they are also wonderful. One mistake we tend to make when get out of one is to jump to the next one right after. If you were deeply in love with someone I do not think you can possibly be ready to love someone else in a matter of weeks. There are way too many unresolved feelings and many times we tend to lose ourselves in that relationship. There must be time dedicated to finding that person that may have been lost and time to put those pieces back together. There has to be time to enjoy peaceful silence and alone time. Take a trip somewhere on your own. Learn how to watch movies alone. Go to the park by yourself and lay in the grass. Learn how to enjoy your own company. Learn how to love yourself all over again.  Be okay with just you. I promise you, it’s an amazingly liberating experience.

A damaged heart needs time to heal, a must in order to avoid infections. A heart must learn how to breathe, stand and live on its own. That same heart will let you know when he is ready to give it one more try but never pressure him to do so before he is ready. Never give up but always take time to breathe, enjoy and love your own presence.


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