I don’t know how that feels

There’s not a lot of things I wish I knew how it would have been if. On Saturday I had a moment as I watched a daughter danced with her father. I said to myself, “I do not know how that feels.” I was smitten by the precious moment these two were having and kept wondering how would it feel if I danced with my father just like that. It is a foreign concept I will always wonder about. I asked myself how different my life would have been IF he would have chosen to be part of it. I had the same feeling the day my great friend Cris shared her photos with her father. Her eyes lit up every time she saw one of their photos together and you could just feel the pride when she spoke of him. I do not have any photos with my Father, not one. Sometimes I wish I did, sometimes I’m glad I do not.

That kind of love it’s strange to me. I cannot say I love my father because he was never interested in being part of my life. All I can say is that I wonder how it would feel to dance just like that young woman danced with her Dad. It was really beautiful to watch them both have such a great time on the dance floor. She is Daddy’s little girl. I know this because the love and connection filled the room in that moment, at least for me, and it made me hopeful. I will never know how that feels but seeing that love makes me hopeful that my daughter will get to experience it with her father. I really hope so!


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