The other day I woke up angry. No good reason. Maybe it was because I’m at the point when sleeping it’s not so comfortable anymore. Yes, I know this will be the norm once the baby arrives but before he does shouldn’t women be able to sleep as much as they can? Or maybe it’s me realizing some things are not as easy as they used to be. Something as simple as getting up from bed takes a bit of effort.
It is true; those damn hormones are a Roller coaster. One day, the Roller coaster can be up high. I feel strong, pretty, can do yoga and even catch a late movie. Another day the Roller coaster can come crashing down. I feel angry, sad, uncomfortable, sleepy and the worst powerless. Thoughts are directed towards anything that is not going 100%, and it all becomes overwhelming. I guess these are the times when some women turn to their partners for comfort and a simple hug can make everything better. These are the times some women go home to their husbands and lay in bed with them. These are the times when some women feel so alone in the journey and feel as if there is nowhere to turn. These are times when some women realize how they really feel.
Some of us become angry at everything around us. We weep behind close doors. We over analyze everything. Some take deep breaths, walk a little and snap out of it. Some of us feel our babies kick and that’s enough to know everything will be all right. Some of us go through every single emotion above and get on with it.
I’m not writing this because I want sympathy but mainly to vent and because I wish I heard more women say these things out loud. Sometimes I rather not say anything because I’m afraid something bad will come from it. I feel guilty for not feeling perky and cheery all the time. I mean this is the best thing ever, right? No, it is not all the time. Yes, my son is the best part but pregnancy isn’t. It is not for everyone and women should be able to say it out loud without feeling guilty.
Warm and fuzzy isn’t an everyday feeling during pregnancy. Maybe for some but I’m for sure not for all. I’ve learned how to validate every emotion that comes my way but also not to get stuck in it. It is never good. It is never healthy. I know women who have gone through pregnancy may say,
“Just get over it, you are pregnant and that’s just the way you are supposed to feel.”
You are supposed to be big
You are supposed to be tired
You are supposed to be emotional
I’ve also heard comments pointing out the opposite.
“Man, you still look pretty fresh.” I guess I do not look like a shit enough for a pregnant girl?
Shouldn’t you be waddling by now?
You still work out?
Shouldn’t you be taking the stairs?
Seems you can never win. You either act too pregnant and complaint about it too much or you do not act pregnant enough and should not be doing certain things.
I say I have the right to feel, do and say whatever the hell I want to. I do think it’s important to a find a healthy way out if the process becomes too overwhelming. Not just during pregnancy but during any time. Support, friendships and companionships can make a world of a difference.