Tag Archives: anti-valentines day

My semi anti-Valentines Day post

14 Feb

IMG_1451Today I couldn’t help but to be annoyed by overwhelming Valentine’s Day social media posts, balloons and the impromptu flower shops outside grocery stores. I had to ask myself why? Do I really hate it this much? I don’t think I do but I dislike the idea that as human beings we are programmed to be told when to celebrate certain things. I’ve always been a cheerleader of spontaneity, just because gestures on ordinary days. Yes, I’m sure it is very nice to get flowers on Valentine’s Day but wouldn’t be nicer to get them when they are not expected? When everyone is else isn’t doing the same thing? Maybe it’s just me being a Grinch but I think V-Day lacks originality and romance. I also think it brings more pressure to relationships and at times unrealistic expectations. It is great for business though!  Keep in mind this is coming from someone who cannot remember the last time she received flowers for Valentine’s Day. I think the most memorable and meaningful flowers I’ve received were when Gael was born, those were special!

I think showing love on Valentine’s Day is nice but I think showing love every other day is nice too.  I like the idea of having one day to celebrate love, not with things but with gestures, smiles and kindness. I think love should be celebrated every chance we get, every chance we receive it and every change we give it. I don’t think there’s one thing anyone can give to show how much they love someone but I do think they can show it in many different ways. We can show it in the way we treat people. We can show it by simply sharing a smile with someone. We can show it by simply checking on a good friend. We can show it by sharing a meal with our family and friends. We show it in the way we care for our kids. We = by simply being there for someone who needs us. We can show it with one kiss, one simple kiss can say what we can’t say with words. I hope you are celebrating love in an out of the ordinary kind of way. I wish you love, kindness and a really good kiss.

Valentines Day show and why I dislike it.

13 Feb

En Español

It is everywhere! Red hearts, love signs, dozen roses specials, teddy bears with I love you hearts and all of it so annoying!!

Some say the demonstration of love between two people and in private means so much more than putting on a show in front of the world.

Valentines Day is one of those shows we feel pressured to put on and is heavily commercialized.

My boyfriend from many years ago prepared a surprise for the occasion. He cooked dinner, bought flowers and did everything a man “should” do on that day. The day after he avoided my calls. Later he said he felt uncomfortable because he didn’t want me to take the surprise the wrong way. He realized what he did may have been too much and thought I may interpret that as him wanting a serious commitment.

At that moment I realize he only did it because it was Valentines Day and he felt pressure to have to do something “nice” for me. It wasn’t because he really wanted to surprise me but the establishment of the holiday told him that’s just what you do.

I ask myself, how many men and women feel this way? We allow society to program our yearly agenda and tell us when we should celebrate those we love. Society tells us when to celebrate mom, dad, etc.

I am sure most men don’t give a shit about Valentines Day but they will never dare to admit that to their partner or wouldn’t dare to not do anything to honor the holiday. There are women that say they don’t give a crap about flowers or chocolates but still care and expect something on that day. He will go buy the most expensive flower arrangement, he will try his best to come up with the most creative and mushy idea to impress his partner and of course at the end of the night he will expect something in return.  She will get the sexiest lingerie, cook the best meal and get him a card he will probably hate. I mean that’s just what you are supposed to do, right?

lemondrop.com

Celebrating romance and love is something beautiful but should never depend on buying or doing certain things. Society, media and corporations have commercialized the holiday for decades. They tell us what to buy, what type of chocolate we should choose, the color of roses we should give and the perfect romantic experience we should plan.

One of the messages: Your love is measured by what you buy.

For some Valentines Day serves as a reminder of our own imperfect relationships or lack of.  Single life is described as a tragedy. There are movies that portray single women as pathetic buried in their sofas, eating ice cream, watching romantic movies and crying every time there’s a valentine commercial.

This is pathetic. Women are portrayed as inconsolable for not having a man by our side. This is not the way it should be.

I’m not against Valentines Day but I refuse to be told when and how to celebrate the person I love. The love we feel for friends, family or partners should not be celebrated just once a year. Love is so much more than a flower arrangement or a box of chocolates. Love is all the simple things we do everyday for the person we love, the hug we need, the words of support from a loved one, when we kiss our kids on the forehead, the funny faces and gestures we share with our best friend, the unexpected caress and all those little things that make us feel special and loved.

Love means understanding we are not always right and accepting others for what they are. Love is felt, seen and heard. Love is never complicated and should never be painful. True love cannot be bought or exchanged. Love should never be a transaction or a requirement. Love cannot be forced or pushed upon.

Share your love with your partner, family, friends and community free from pressures or expectations.

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