Tag Archives: momentoscongael

Birthdays

1 Jan

It was maybe about 5 years ago birthdays began to feel a bit awkward for me. The idea of celebrating “me” feels a bit uncomfortable. I used to get really excited about celebrating and turning one year older. I’m not sure when or why that changed for me. Maybe the idea of getting older doesn’t seem so cool anymore. I’m not sure because I don’t mind saying how old I am and I don’t mind getting older either. I think the fact my birthday falls on New Year’s Day doesn’t help either. It sounds cool but it really isn’t. The celebration of the New Year always wins over the birthday. The only thing I do enjoy about is that it becomes a great excuse to get good friends together in one room- that I do love!

Last year was one for the books, I became a mother and life changed. My world changed. Sometimes I feel I’ve lost a little bit of me in the process and it scares me. Now, my life revolves around a very active 11 month old and making sure he is okay. Most days I’m okay with it but there are days I do miss some of the old me. I miss my voice and sense of adventure. I miss being able to sit quietly at my favorite coffee shop to process feelings and issues through my writing. I love each moment I spend with my son but I do miss some of my old moments and there’s no shame in that. 
I haven’t made a list of unrealistic resolutions that will stay written in a piece of paper but there are 2 things I would like to commit to for the next 364 days:

1. Finding myself
I want to find the sense of self I lost while becoming a mother. I would like to focus not just on my life as mother but also as a woman. I would like to regain some of my independence and voice.
2. A happy baby
I know I’m not the best mother of the world but I do know I make my baby happy. I know this because the way he smiles, the way he looks at me and the way he cuddles with me in the mornings. I want to continue doing this and find new ways to make him happy.

That’s it. These are my two big ideas for this year. I hope you have a fantastic year and may 2014 bring you beauty, joy and smiles. Cheers!

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#NaPhoPoMo 2013 Day 26: Our Christmas tree

30 Nov

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Our mini Christmas tree is up! I’m not usually a Christmas kind of person but I’m really excited this year because is Gael’s first. Last year I put up the tree because I was pregnant and this year he gets to see the light beam. The holidays are just so much nicer when you have someone so close and special to share them with. I’m excited about starting new traditions with him and doing things on our own. I look forward to the day when we have a bigger home and we can decorate it together. For now, our mini tree and lights will do. 

This photograph was taken as part of #NaPhoPoMo (National Photo Posting Month) – a shot a day for the month of November.

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#NaPhoPoMo 2013, Day 20: My kid has the best smile

24 Nov

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My kid does have a great smile and I cannot get enough of it. I love how he giggles at random sounds and silly faces. I love that he thinks I’m funny and gets super excited when he sees me dance like a crazy person. I love how his eyes light up as soon as I walk into the door to pick him up after work. I love that he is not afraid to smile at other people. I love that he is just the most loving being in my life. I love the way he dances when he hears music and I say, “Gael baila.” I love that he is the happiest baby I know and I like to think I have a little bit to do with it. I love how he lights up my mornings, days and nights like no one can. I love that it is so easy for him to make me feel better. I love that he loves me just because I’m his Mama.

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This photograph was taken as part of #NaPhoPoMo (National Photo Posting Month) – a shot a day for the month of November.

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#naphopomo 2013, Day 17: Dinner en nuestro hogar

21 Nov

imageTonight Gael and I hosted a dinner for a small group of friends at home. This was a first for me. I’ve never really had more than one friend come over for dinner. It was really nice. It’s was our usual sunday breakfast bunch- Rafa, Pau and Ale. I managed to cook a pretty decent meal without burning the place down.  No body got sick as of yet so I think that’s a good sign.

I never really had friends come over prior to Gael because I was hardly ever there. I was always on the go and my apartment didn’t look anything like it does today. One of the things I did while pregnant was transform my apartment into a home. I knew I would have to spend more time at home once Gael arrived so my goal was to make it as cozy as possible. I’ve always wanted a place that felt like home- a place that is welcoming and comfortable.  My apartment is not just an apartment anymore, it has become a home thanks to my little guy.This is probably why I feel more comfortable inviting friends. So much has changed with Gael arrival and I’m really thankful for it.  It never ceases to amaze me how this kid has managed to transform so much about my life in such a wonderful way. He has brought me back to the basics and makes me cherish what’s really important in life.

Our friends felt at home tonight and that makes me happy. For the the first time in my life I can say I have a place I can call home– nuestro hogar (our home). 

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This photograph was taken as part of #NaPhoPoMo (National Photo Posting Month) – a shot a day for the month of November.

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I have been too quiet for too long

30 Jul

DSC_1497Today someone reminded me of something I wrote a while back and encouraged me to read some of my posts from a few years ago. Some were very powerful and inspiring. I was transported and wondered what happened to that voice– my voice. A voice that dared and encouraged me to embrace my different.

I have been too quiet for too long and it is time to change that. In the last few months I’ve attempted to write many posts but never got around to finishing any of them.

The voice is there, aching to be loud and tired to be held back.  The truth is, I’ve been making excuses for myself and possibly even using this wild thing called motherhood as a way out.  Being a mom has actually inspired me to go beyond my personal expectations. It has made me stronger but also not afraid to show vulnerability.  I have my son to blame for this!! He forces me out of my comfort zone and has woken up a dormant side of me.  A baby shouldn’t be used as excuse for not doing what I love and what helps me stay sane.  For me, writing is a processing tool—it keeps me grounded and helps me organize thoughts that would otherwise just float around my head which can get exhausting.

I won’t make this long because I’m getting sleepy and I don’t want it to become another post I don’t ever finish. I also need to remember not to over analyze every thing I write. It is okay to share simple, short but meaningful thoughts. It is okay to just want write about my baby. It is okay to not write about him too. It is okay to be human, at times be ashamed, make mistakes, forgive, learn and move on.

I’m a new mom but this shouldn’t mean losing my voice, my person or my different. This doesn’t mean everything about me has completely changed. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to socialize. This doesn’t’ mean I’m clueless or lost. This doesn’t mean I’m not getting enough sleep, always tired or busy.  This doesn’t mean I cannot have an occasional beer or cocktail of my damn choice. This doesn’t mean I’m having a “rough” time. This doesn’t mean all I want to talk about is my beautiful Gael. This doesn’t mean all I can talk about is Gael. This doesn’t mean I do not know what’s going on. I am still Frida—with a little more love and in love.

 

P.S. Thank you for coming back and reading Frida’s Cafe. My goal is to re-design and post more frequently. I have to much to share!!!! I hope you continue to visit and enjoy all the new stuff 🙂

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